Thank You (not really!)
Tags: career advice, CV, polite, reputation, thank you
Everyday I receive emails from people asking for free advice. I don’t know them, they don’t know me but they hope to get something for free.
Even if time is short, I always try to reply back to all the emails…Sometimes I just say I won’t be able to help you (if it is something too big as reviewing a CV or a profile).
But the worst case is when someone ask for a piece of advice and once I send an email does not reply back.
It happened to me the other day! A guy sent me an email asking for my view on how to choose a blog’s name, and what would the best way to do it.
I spent literally 20 mn on my email trying to find the best answers to help him and sent it straightaway to him.
And you know what? I never got a Thank you!
He did not bother to reply to me saying thank you…How would you feel in that case?
Networking and social networking require an etiquette, be polite and thankful is the minimum…because next time I will come across this person, I will make sure not to help her again or to get in touch with her.
It is not because it is online that you can’t be polite and respectful. Reputation is everything!
And you, do you always say thank you and respect a minimum of rules when online?
Latest update: the person I am talking about in this article contacted me today to apologize, things can be turned around!!
Denise Taylor said:
Jan 19, 10 at 9:40 amIt’s so common isn’t it, and it can make you feel less likely to help others in the future but I still help people because that’s me.
The worst example I have is with a psychology graduate who was working in an entry level position and I knew of a job that might be a great job to segue into occupational psychology – I helped him with the connection and nothing back – not a thank you, not a note on how it went – how rude I thought, and like you I remember him.
But if I am too negatively influenced by this I may miss out on the many other people who do appreciate the time I give for free and I don’t want him to overly influence me
Let’s hope Laurent that we can continue to role model being polite and good manners!
Thank you
Denise Taylor
Laurent Brouat said:
Jan 19, 10 at 10:08 amMany thanks Denise for this wake up call…you can’t put all the people in the same basket. But I think some people need to know the consequences of their behaviour on us and why their reputation are tarnished.
You are definitely right when you say that we must keep on going even if some people on the road are really unpolite and unthankful.
Laurent
Antoine said:
Jan 20, 10 at 4:00 amIf I help someone, I do it because I think it is the right thing, not because I expect to get something, be it a thank you, a beer or anything else.
Anyway, I agree with you that he should have thanked you.
Antoine.
Laurent Brouat said:
Jan 20, 10 at 9:09 amI agree with you Antoine, I never do it expecting something back…but sometimes you expect at least a thank you.
Sally said:
Jan 24, 10 at 1:43 amAgree with Antoine.
Saying thank you is, of course, good manners and the right thing to do. It goes without question.
But in reality we all make mistakes. The person who didn’t say thank you (until they read your blog post) probably wasn’t being intentionally nasty or ungrateful.
They could have become ill, had a family bereavement, had a partner walk out on them, or simply got busy with life and not even seen your email.
We need give people the benefit of the doubt rather than judging them and writing about them so publicly. Social media and blogging brings power – but it also carries responsibility (even when you’re not quoting someone by name).
If you want something back, then don’t offer free the advice. Period.
But if you do want to respond (because it’s in your nature to help) then don’t expect anything back. Just be satisfied that you’ve helped someone. That way you won’t feel compelled to write about someone and make their day or week worse than it was and quite possibly making damaging your own brand (If I’m honest, your blog post tells me more about you, than it does about the person that didn’t say thank you….)
Laurent Brouat said:
Jan 24, 10 at 11:49 amHi Sally, we all make mistakes and the person who did that came back to me apologising. So you are probably right I should have given her the benefit of the doubt…but at the same time, I don’t expect anything in return just the pleasure of helping someone. I think I expressed what a lot of people think to themselves when it happens to them.
The only thing you have to realize: what are the consequences of this behaviour?
You are right also that with social media, we have a responsability.
Thanks for your insightful comment.
Laurent